Friday, February 15, 2008

Dealing with the Past

"But if you do not drive out the inhabitants of the land from before you, then those whom you let remain shall be as barbs in your eyes and thorns in your sides; they shall trouble you in the land where you are settling. And I will do to you as I thought to do to them." Num 33:55-56

There is a promise land that God calls us to, yet there are awaiting there those who have set up strongholds long, long ago. In a sense they are embedded. There can be no peace or rest until they are gone. Cast out. Uprooted and expelled. To fail to engage in the battle to rid these vestiges of the past is to comply with them and ultimately become as one of them.

This scripture is an excellent illustration of how generational sin and cursing, as well as our own fallen beliefs, interact as we embrace the salvation of God. When we are first saved we are indeed transplanted to a new and exciting place. Joy, wonder, and hope open up before us. But soon the newness wears off and our optimism fades as we realize that deeply rooted and destructive elements of the past world we left behind are still with us. They are barbs to our eyes making it hard to see, and thorns in our sides making it hard to walk. So long as they remain we shall be tormented. If we ignore them not only do we forfiet our promised land, but in the end we will become like them. And, in failing to deal with these remnants from the past, it will be for another generation to root out the tendrals of what has become our own sin.

Salvation must involve battle with elements of the past.

"For the weapons of our warfare are not carnal but mighty in God for pulling down strongholds, casting down arguments and every high thing that exalts itself against the knowledge of God, bringing every thought into captivity to the obedience of Christ." 2 Cor 10:4-5

"Since you have heard all about him and have learned the truth that is in Jesus, throw off your old evil nature and your former way of life, which is rotten through and through, full of lust and deception. Instead, there must be a spiritual renewal of your thoughts and attitudes. You must display a new nature because you are a new person, created in God’s likeness—righteous, holy, and true." Ephesians 4:21-24

Friday, February 1, 2008

Committing to Getting (The temptation and Fall of Adam) -Part 3

"Then the Lord God called to Adam and said to him, “Where are you?” So he said, “I heard Your voice in the garden, and I was afraid because I was naked; and I hid myself.” He said, “Who told you that you were naked? Have you eaten from the tree of which I commanded you that you should not eat?” "Gen 3:9-11

“Then Jesus was led up by the Spirit into the wilderness to be tempted by the devil. And when He had fasted forty days and forty nights, afterward He was hungry. Now when the tempter came to Him, he said, “If You are the Son of God, command that these stones become bread.”" Matthew 4:1-3

"I counsel you to buy from Me gold refined in the fire, that you may be rich; and white garments, that you may be clothed, that the shame of your nakedness may not be revealed..." Revelation 3:18

So far, God has initiated contact with Adam by drawing him forth from the shadows of fear, shame, and hiding with a series of gentle probing questions. The progression of these questions is important as each question is designed to equip Adam with the insight needed for him to answer the next. In the first question, "Where are you?" Adam is led to consider and name where he is in his own story, to name the terrain of his heart. In the second question, "Who told you that you were naked?", God reveals to Adam that the belief that nakedness = shame, and the subsequent fear and hiding this belief encourages, has a cause external to himself that is tied to a message given by another. He encourages Adam to consider the influential nature of this message and to name his accuser. Up until this point every question the Father asks of Adam focuses on the circumstances that have led him to his present state of fear and hiding but here the focus shifts from these circumstances to Adam himself and a concrete choice he has made.

"Have you eaten from the tree of which I commanded you that you should not eat?"

I am just blown away by the wisdom and beauty of our Counselor as he leads Adam toward naming what is the ultimate cause of this present state of fear and shame. If the first question dealt with the where of his present situation, and the second question dealt with the who of where the destructive message came from, this last question deals with the why of Adams new shadow identity. For though it is true that Adam would not be in this present state of shame and fear if it were not for a message he received, and though it is true that this hurtful and destructive message came from an enemy over whom Adam had no control (Adam was truly sinned against), it is also absolutely true that Adam would not be shamefully cowering in the shrubbery if he had not made a willful and deliberate choice to take hold of that which God had explicitly forbidden. Adam has made a commitment, entered into a contract. It is this contract that the Father's final question is meant to reveal.

We see the nature and foundation of this contract in Genesis 3:4 when Satan whispered these words, "You will not surely die. For God knows that in the day you eat of it your eyes will be opened, and you will be like God, knowing good and evil." In essence what Satan was saying was "Because you are substandard, inferior, (Read: lacking important and needed wisdom), it shows that God does not really care for you. He has lied to you. Therefore if you want to become better, acceptable, superior...like God, you need to take matters into your own hands. You need to take care of yourself. You can do it. I‘ll show you how." Thus we see in this temptation the subtle accusation that fuels all temptation. Temptation always involves some message of personal inadequacy combined with the promise that somehow we can, in our own power, gain what is lacking and thus restore our sense of security and honor. This is the first instance where we see Satan appearing as an angel of light, a helper. He appears as our friend who has come to offer us a way out of a painful, frightening, confusing, and shameful circumstance. The author of sin appears as one who has come to offer deliverance from sin!

It must be noted that even if Adam and Eve hadn't eaten of the tree the suggestion that God was untrustworthy, did not really care for them, and that they were somehow unsatisfactory would no doubt have caused them great pain and confusion. You mean I am really not o.k.? God doesn't really love me? I am really all on my own? These are devastating words to hear, and as is the nature and intent of all sinful words, would have caused significant hurt. Sin always causes suffering. Yet, it was not Satan’s sin nor the painful consequences of that sin that was ultimately responsible for driving Adam and Eve into the shadows. What drove Adam and Eve into the shadows was their agreement with those words.

Again, as it is with Adam so it is with us. Regardless where it is we find ourselves, the messages we have received, and the damage evil has wrought in our lives, it is always, always, always the contracts that we choose to make with darkness that leads us to a place where that darkness defines us. Call it shame, low self-esteem, a poor self-image, or even a prideful compulsion to always save face, maintain control, or establish yourself as slightly superior to others, it is always rooted in a painful message we received at the hands of sin combined with our complicit agreement to seek self-salvation on the terms of that message.

Now I must say, for those of us who have suffered greatly at the hands of others, these words might sound incomprehensible and intolerably cruel. You mean to tell me it was my fault? Is that what we tell the young child who is struggling with shame, resentment, self-loathing, and fear because their loved ones abused them? Is that what we tell the fearful, unstable, and emotionally assaulted among us? That you struggle like you do is your fault. You are just doing this to yourself. Unfortunately that is exactly what many, many poor souls (including myself) have been told. It is a natural outflow of the “if only” theology that dominates far too many Christians these days. It goes something like this. “If only you prayed more, read your bible more, witnessed more, knew more, had more faith, served more, forgave more, or whatever, then you would experience healing and not suffer as you do.” Is that what God is saying? I want to state here emphatically no! A thousand times over no! no! no! This message is not the Gospel but a grossly twisted misrepresentation that leads, not to life, but darkest death. This is a doctrine of demons and smells of the fiery pit! (It must be noted that this if only reasoning is not confined to Christians alone. In fact I would go so far as to say this is the defining philosophy behind what the bible refers to as the whole world system. All people have this belief that if something is wrong, either in the world or in themselves, all could be made right if only. It’s just the world has a different set of lists to follow than do Christians.)

That said it still leaves the question; if God is not encouraging self-blame what is he trying to accomplish in having us acknowledge that we have eaten that of which He warned us not to eat?

Well, could it be rather than encouraging self-blame God is actually encouraging us to name where we have already accepted self-blame. Could it be that in helping us to name the contract we’ve made, God is actually providing us a way out from under the crushing weight of blame? A weight we have been falsely lead to believe was ours to carry? As we shall see, in reality God is helping us discover the redemptive truth that it is not now, and never has been, our fault. We have been deceived.

You see when our eldest ancestors ate from the tree they were doing more than simply snacking on forbidden fruit. For in the act of swallowing the fruit they also swallowed the lie that they were deficient and could and should secure for themselves their physical, spiritual, and emotional needs. They sold their hearts (and ours too, I’m afraid) to the idea that their sense of dignity, worth, and meaning…their sense of true security, depended upon their own actions and strengths. Apart from their works they would remain substandard.. From here forward humankind was committed to earning their own worth by attempting to attain to perfection. They traded being for doing, and in the exchange bound themselves over to a sense of shame.

Can you see the implications of such a belief? Ever after that moment anything that caused them a sense of pain or loss, anything that would reveal imperfection and expose their inability to arrange for their own lives would be accepted, without question, as a personal failure. I should be better. I should be able to secure and control my life. At that moment Adam and Eve willingly agreed to take the blame for every evil to ever befall humankind including the evil inflicted by Satan himself. For if you truly believe you can get right by getting it right, that you should get right by getting it right, and yet your life is not right it must mean that you got it wrong. From now on not only would people experience deep pain in the face of loss and sin but with it a deep sense of failure and shame. Sorrow originally meant to lead us to seek out the support and comfort of both God and others would now become a shame-igniting catalyst propelling us toward greater and greater isolation.

Now we see clearly the sad sordid tale that is the human condition. We are born into this world believing fully that we could and should control our lives. And with this deeply entrenched conviction an unsettling awareness, not only of the deep pain that sin causes, but also a deep shame for the belief that we somehow allowed it. That it is somehow our fault for not preventing it. Our fault for not being impervious to the pain. Our fault for not having more control. We are born running. I should be better. I should be able to secure and control my life. Thus we see the universal phenomenon of little kids blaming themselves for their parents divorce. Parents blaming themselves for their child’s suicide or drug use. Rape, incest survivors, victims of sexual abuse blaming themselves for not having prevented it, or blaming themselves for not being able to heal themselves from it. We even see people blaming themselves for surviving tragedies clearly beyond their control…survivor guilt. On and on and on it goes.

So, though it may seem like God is encouraging self-blame He is actually redeeming us from it. Self-blame is rooted in a commitment to self-salvation and it is only God who can save. We were never meant to carry such a burden. Redemption is the process whereby God restores us to a relationship of dependence on Him. We were created to trust in Him to meet all of our physical, emotional, and spiritual needs. We were created to rest in Him. Here, in these few moments following the fall we see the flow that marks the direction back toward liberation for all who have since followed in the footsteps of our most ancient ancestor; A) name where you are, B) name the influential messages you have received and identify the source and nature of your accuser, and C) then name the commitment you have made based on what you have been told.

And what of us? Have we , like our original parents, believed the lie that life depended on us? Have we, like them, felt the intoxicating pressure to get right by getting it right only to be left with the naked sense of our own failure and shame? Have we too felt the fear beneath our pressured striving that keeps us driven, guarded, and alone? Do we carry with us, not only the long history of our own personal tragedies and our own brutal encounters with sin, but also a nagging sense that somehow we could have prevented it? Done better, been stronger, acted wiser? Do we, along with the roots of humanity, struggle with the conviction that we should be able to heal ourselves, or others, if only…? Do you really think that it is all your fault?

In other words, “Have you eaten…?”

Tuesday, January 29, 2008

Committing to Getting (The temptation and Fall of Adam) -Part 2

"Then the Lord God called to Adam and said to him, “Where are you?”So he said, “I heard Your voice in the garden, and I was afraid because I was naked; and I hid myself.” He said, “Who told you that you were naked? Have you eaten from the tree of which I commanded you that you should not eat?" Gen 3:9-11

"Then Jesus was led up by the Spirit into the wilderness to be tempted by the devil. And when He had fasted forty days and forty nights, afterward He was hungry. Now when the tempter came to Him, he said, “If You are the Son of God, command that these stones become bread.”" Matthew 4:1-3

"I counsel you to buy from Me gold refined in the fire, that you may be rich; and white garments, that you may be clothed, that the shame of your nakedness may not be revealed..." Revelation 3:18

What happened to Adam and Eve? One imagines them before The Fall strolling unopposed in the garden of God's favor, radiant, fearless, and full of light. A time when, in the glorious freedom of the children of God, "they were both naked, the man and his wife, and were not ashamed." -Gen 2:25 These were the noble ones. The living images of God Himself, and yet here we see them broken, shameful, cowering beneath the shrubs. Something in this first sin unleashed a torrent of shame and hiding that would follow mankind from these accounts in Genesis all the way to the book of Revelation.

"Where are you Adam?"

These are not the words of an angry dictator but a tender healer. He comes to Adam, not offering solutions, lectures, or pressuring guilt. He comes with soft questions. Questions designed to gently probe and draw Adam, not to focus on excuses or solutions, but to take an inside look. He invites Adam to find and name the red dot on the map of his heart.

"I am terrified of being seen by You because in my unvealed nakedness I am shameful and loathsome to behold. So I have decided to hide." (Note that Adam's own attempt at covering his nakedness didn't cover his sense of shame nor protect him from the fear of exposure.)

At this point God does not chastise Adam, "Why would you hide from me after all I've done for you...you should know better..." Rather God responds with the loving wisdom of a parent who has just learned that an enemy has whispered into their child's ear the message; "You are ugly, shameful, and worthy of rejection."

The Father asks his child, "Who told you that you that you were naked?"

God knows that Adam's hiding, terror, and shame did not "just happen". Adam's present condition had a legitimate cause triggered by a definitive event. Adam is being led to consider his own story and discover where the message of shame came from. In a sense God is saying what we all say in the face of a tragic turn, "Tell me what happened."

Before we consider the Father's next question, "Have you eaten...", let us consider and fully search out the answers to these first two questions, "Where are you?", and "Who told you that you were naked?" Let us consider our own story. For as it is for Adam so it is for us. Nobody simply wakes one morning with a load of anxiety, shame, and a terror of being seen as they really are. We are not born into shadows. We are driven into them. And so we too must join with God in asking ourselves the question, "Who told you that you were naked?"

In other words, "Where did that message come from?" Have you, like Adam, ever been encouraged to understand the messages you've recieved, ever been encouraged to see how they have driven you into the shadows of fear and shame? Have you ever been encouraged to name your accuser? I began by asking the question, "What happened to Adam and Eve?" Now I ask, what happened to us?

Committing to Getting (The temptation and Fall of Adam)- Part 1

"Then the Lord God called to Adam and said to him, “Where are you?” So he said, “I heard Your voice in the garden, and I was afraid because I was naked; and I hid myself.” He said, “Who told you that you were naked? Have you eaten from the tree of which I commanded you that you should not eat?"
Gen 3:9-11

"Then Jesus was led up by the Spirit into the wilderness to be tempted by the devil. And when He had fasted forty days and forty nights, afterward He was hungry. Now when the tempter came to Him, he said, “If You are the Son of God, command that these stones become bread.”" Matthew 4:1-3

"I counsel you to buy from Me gold refined in the fire, that you may be rich; and white garments, that you may be clothed, that the shame of your nakedness may not be revealed..." Revelation 3:18

Where are you? Do you know? Are you able to name the landscape of your heart as well as the geography of your surroundings?

This seems to be a very important question to God. There is something He wants us to learn, for certainly He who knows all needn't learn from us our whereabouts. Where are you? Are you feeling freedom, joy, and deep connectedness with others and God? Or are you feeling pressured, failed, lonely, fearful, accused, threatened, guilty, or trapped? Where has it led you? Are you able to name it? If not, why? Could it be that God is asking, "Where are you?"

For Adam the answer was clear. He heard the voice of God, undoubtedly calling to him, and Adam realizing that he was naked, was seized by a terror that drove him into the shadows of hiding. Something about being seen without any covering, being exposed as he really was before God, terrified Adam. In truth it wasn't the idea of being exposed before God alone that terrified Adam. For long before the Lord steps on the scene we read in verse 7, "Then the eyes of both of them were opened, and they knew that they were naked; and they sewed fig leaves together and made themselves coverings."

Adam's penchant for hiding what was true about himself began with his closest human relationship and seems simply to carry over to God, the only difference being Adam seems aware that God, being the All Seeing One, cannot be blinded by our pretense and shadow seeking. God sees us as we really are. To one committed to shadows the Lord must be a terror indeed. How transparent are we with those whom we value most? How does this carry over to our relationship with God?

Is it possible that the exposure we fear is actually the invitation of God calling to us from the cool of a garden which we, like our eldest ancestors, have lost?

Before we turn to solutions, before we look for escape, let us first ponder the implications of this first question God asks, "Where are you?". Resist the temptation to justify, defend, or blame. Let us simply join God in asking the question and agree to stay here until we get an answer. Until we have our answer we can go no further and receive no more.

Monday, January 28, 2008

Rags to Riches

"Because you say, ‘I am rich, have become wealthy, and have need of nothing’—and do not know that you are wretched, miserable, poor, blind, and naked—I counsel you to buy from Me gold refined in the fire, that you may be rich; and white garments, that you may be clothed, that the shame of your nakedness may not be revealed; and anoint your eyes with eye salve, that you may see. As many as I love, I rebuke and chasten. Therefore be zealous and repent. Behold, I stand at the door and knock. If anyone hears My voice and opens the door, I will come in to him and dine with him, and he with Me." - Rev 3:17-20


We always associate the image of Jesus knocking on the door of the sinners heart as an invitation for unbelievers and yet forget the imagery was intended to represent Jesus as knocking on the hearts of believers to wake them up to the fact that they could no longer feel their true brokenness because of their spiritual pride. Here is Jesus asking permission from us to enter our woundedness and helplessness. We are so reluctant to admit that we hurt and can’t fix ourselves and yet that is what qualifies our need for a Saviour.

It is interesting to note that what kept them removed form the true reality of their spiritual poverty was their trust in, and focus on, that which they perceived as their "riches". It was their focus on what they thought were their strengths, their dependence on what their hands had accomplished for them, that served to distract them from their inherit and inescapable neediness. It was prosperity that anesthetized their perception of need.

Also very revealing is the fact that Jesus lets them know that in the absence of their self-dependent facade He would provide real riches and clothing so that, "that the shame of your nakedness may not be revealed". This is evidence that what we trust in, what we consider riches, actually serves to protect us from being exposed as naked and shameful. We cling to "riches" because we fear shame. Yet we fear shame because we believe our acceptability depends on our own merit and ability.

"Therefore, to keep me from being too elated, a thorn was given me in the flesh, a messenger of Satan to torment me, to keep me from being too elated. Three times I appealed to the Lord about this, that it would leave me, but he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for power is made perfect in weakness.” So, I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may dwell in me. 10Therefore I am content with weaknesses, insults, hardships, persecutions, and calamities for the sake of Christ; for whenever I am weak, then I am strong." - 2 Corinthians 12:7-10

"Yet whatever gains I had, these I have come to regard as loss because of Christ. More than that, I regard everything as loss because of the surpassing value of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord. For his sake I have suffered the loss of all things, and I regard them as rubbish, in order that I may gain Christ and be found in him, not having a righteousness of my own that comes from the law, but one that comes through faith in Christ, the righteousness from God based on faith. " Phillipans 3:7-9

Friday, January 25, 2008

Groaning

"I consider that the sufferings of this present time are not worth comparing with the glory about to be revealed to us. For the creation waits with eager longing for the revealing of the children of God; for the creation was subjected to futility, not of its own will but by the will of the one who subjected it, in hope that the creation itself will be set free from its bondage to decay and will obtain the freedom of the glory of the children of God. We know that the whole creation has been groaning in labor pains until now; and not only the creation, but we ourselves, who have the first fruits of the Spirit, groan inwardly while we wait for adoption, the redemption of our bodies."
-Romans 8:18-23

All creation groans in expectation of the revelation of the glory of man. That includes us. Our longings for others and for ourselves is a longing for the revelation of the glory of God in man. When we grieve the absence of some quality of being within another or ourselves we are in fact grieving the absence of that glory. When confronted with some great natural wonder or beauty in nature we feel awe and wonder to be sure but if beneath it all we feel a subtle sorrow a subtle ache for that which we know not we are longing for His glory. When high accomplishments and long realized goals fill us with exuberance and joy within, when the great joy of receiving what we really wanted still holds a barely perceptible ache of dissatisfaction a nameless disappointment we are in fact longing for the glory of God.

We were created to long for it.  To look for it. To expect it. Our disappointment reveals our deepest longing, as well as our truest design. Ours is a holy discontent.

It is our disappointments rather than our joys that point to His glory..for all disappointment is at root disappointed desire. This is the core desire for God. We see Him less in wealth than in poverty, less in strength than weakness, less in satisfaction than dissatisfaction, less in wholeness than brokenness. He is near the brokenhearted. He is near the outcast. He is near the orphan. He is near the widow. He is near the outcast. He is revealed to the poor in spirit. He is near the sorrowful. He is near the broken and contrite heart. 

He calls through our quintessential disappointments. When from a sea of disappointment, from a world where even the very best it can offers is not enough, one hears the call, the sure invitation of that which they most long for, a calling towards that which beneath all desires is most desired..the effect is one of joy. There is a and sweet sorrowful joy more satisfying than any pleasure and more enduring than any pain. It is the call of the Beloved and our hearts leap. It is the call of our Beloved heard not in tones of earthy satisfaction and satiation but in the enduring, persistent, dissatisfaction with the very best life has to offer. 

As Lewis put it. "When I find in myself a desire that nothing in this world can satisfy it must be that I was created for another world entirely." 

It was also the sweet revelation of the psalmist who with a deep abiding dissatisfaction with all else this world could offer discovered a singular longing for the One who alone can satisfy. You can hear his desperate joy filled longing in these words.. 

Psalm 73:21-28 NIV
When my heart was grieved and my spirit embittered, [22] I was senseless and ignorant; I was a brute beast before you. [23] Yet I am always with you; you hold me by my right hand. [24] You guide me with your counsel, and afterward you will take me into glory. [25] Whom have I in heaven but you? And earth has nothing I desire besides you. [26] My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever. [27] Those who are far from you will perish; you destroy all who are unfaithful to you. [28] But as for me, it is good to be near God. I have made the Sovereign Lord my refuge; I will tell of all your deeds.

We see Him not in our satisfaction, but dissatisfactions. Not in our fullness but our poverty. Not in our pleasures but our disappointments. It is the call of the redeemed. It is the call of the Beloved. And our hearts rejoice at the sound of His voice. 





Thursday, January 24, 2008

Self-justification

If our focus is on self-justification we will never have the freedom to face all that we are. We will want to exaggerate our holinesses and minimize our depravity. This is because of the fallen ideal that our acceptability depends upon our ability to perform well. We loath and fear our imperfections and sin because they threaten our sense of value before others and ourselves. This is why self-justification is always a movement away from love. Self-justification always depends on the performance of the self, while love always depends on the free choice of our lover.

To be committed to a path of self-justification; earning our own worth and defending our own honor, is to be bound up in the old covenant of rule-keeping rather than embracing the new covenant of mercy.

"'For I will be merciful toward their iniquities,
and I will remember their sins no more."

In speaking of “a new covenant,” he has made the first one obsolete. And what is obsolete and growing old will soon disappear." -Hebrews 8:12-13